Ruthless attack on Corian sink-film at 11

Police are searching this evening for a large rock that ruthlessly attacked a Corian sink this morning causing catastrophic damage. The angelfish on scene said that the rock was removed from the fish tank and taken to the kitchen by a shadowy figure who brings food every day but rarely takes the rocks for cleaning. Shortly after the rock was taken to the kitchen, the angelfish said a crash was heard followed by unrepeatable expletives and wailing.

The rock is described as white with a fine coat of algae. If seen, please do not approach it as it should be considered wet and slippery and handled only whilst paying close attention and using two hands. This photo gives a representation of the culprit and is not an exact likeness. This is a picture of the sink shot shortly after the attack. Look away now if you are squeamish, folks. This is a horrific injury and not for the faint of pocketbook.Damage to the sink is said to be life-threatening and very expensive. The homeowner, Ms. Butterfingers*, swears never to buy Corian products again as she thinks that something should not cost more than 5 times it's original purchhase price to repair. She is relieved, however, as the damage is not nearly as expensive as what the orange and blue box people led her to believe in her initial fact-finding mission. For that, she is most grateful. Ms. Butterfingers hopes that others will learn from her experience and not be tempted to purchase anything other than stainless steel for their kitchen sink, no matter how pretty other materials may be.


*names have been changed to protect the distracted who should have been eating chocolate or knitting instead of cleaning the fish tank.