Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My new house. Wherein there is mass destruction.

Termites. I hates them. They eat things they should not and ignore the things they should. Because of them, this is what is in my living room right now. Bastiches. Did I mention that I hate them? I'll stop now before I start spiraling.
Seriously folks, if you haven't updated your termite bond, do so. Termites are teh suk. You don't want this happening to your home. See where those nails are sticking out? There used to be a 2"x 10" piece of lumber here. Now it's confetti. And the board it's nailed in to? Confetti too. Except that the party was had by bugs and not me.
What? That looks expensive? Why yes, yes it is. Thanks for noticing. When you fix something like this you should get a big, big bag of money and just hold it out to contractors repeating these words: "Go ahead, help yourself. No really, it's fine, I'll just pull more out of my butt. Take more, please! Don't be shy!" Until you pass out. I'm almost there!

But enough of painful activities. I have a new friend. This new friend is the bomb. And if you don't have one, you should because it's loads of fun. It's called a reciprocating saw or sawsall. And it does. Saws all, that is. I will love him and squeeze him and hug him and feed him and call him George.

This is what my subfloor looked like after termites and before George and I went to work.

There. Isn't that better? Cheapest therapy I've ever had. Highly recommended. Zippity, zippity. The reason I needed a reciprocating saw is that they don't build 'em like they used to. This is an example of the beams under my house. I hear they are in the attic too. 6"x12" solid timbers! Oy! The nice peoples are going to come tomorrow and put in new wiring because it currently looks like someone tied Medusa's hair together with a rat's nest poured glue on it and called it a day. No kidding, almost everything is original. That makes the wiring 73 years old. Say it with me: Scary, yeah.

Someday, it will be a nice house. At least, that's what they tell us. Donations are welcome. If you don't have money, you could also just come by and point out how we're doing it wrong or how we're crazy for doing this. I'd believe you.

4 comments:

Knit Witch said...

I LOVE the house and it is going to be so beautiful when you get done! The good part about doing it yourself is that you KNOW it is all done correctly. We laughed when we bought this house b/c the guy that owned it previously told us he was a "handyman" for a living. Right..........nice wiring job butthole.

Nicole said...

Aw, Laurie. It WILL be beautiful!

Calicoknits said...

Too funny. Get a hockey mask and go to town with that saw. Nobody will mess with you..It will be awesome when you're done.

Katey said...

You've been tagged.

There's a meme, come to my blog to find out what in the world I'm talking about.