Thursday, March 20, 2008

Good things about being sick

My darling husband was gracious and kind to share his funk with me the last time he was home. I appreciate it, truly. While it is no fun to be spewing contagion and speaking in squeaks and whispers, there are some good things about being sick.

1. Codeine. Codeine makes the world go round. One good dose of this stuff and I'm in happy land, only waking occasionally to cough as opposed to checking the clock every hour. It also makes you very mellow. So when the cat throws up on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night, you don't have that urge to kill like usual.

2. Steroids. 'Roids are wonderful. Not only do they restore one's ability to talk normally, they also enable you to clean your entire house, wash your car, rearrange your sock drawer, and organize your pantry-all in 1 hour. You can also eat an amazing amount of food while taking them without getting full. It's like paradise. That is, until you realize your pants don't fit. But at least the house is clean.

3. Work. Being really sick means you get to be out of work and sit around on your keister doing nothing all day. There's a lot to be said for this, considering how much I zoom around on an average day. Of course, I'm blogging, so it's not like I did nothing today.

4. Sleep. You should get lots of this when you're sick. Of course, in my house, that means that Daphne wants to sleep on your head. Theres nothing like a nice, warm, purring cat on your head. All is well until she unleashes a few SBDs and wakes you up to cough and try to clear the air. At least when the dogs fart it's under the covers. They have to sleep in their own green gas bubble.

I'd also like to take a moment to sing the praises of something called a Neti Pot. This humble device has made it possible for me to breathe again. It's pretty crazy. You fill the pot with a mild, warm saline solution, stick it in one nostril, turn your head over the sink, and it flows out of your other nostril. Whoa. Trust me, the first time you use it, it is most unpleasant. The sensation is reminiscent of diving into the pool and getting water up your nose. It's amazing what strange things you can blow out of your nose after using this thing. Shades of green which are really quite fashionable right now. I even saw one shade I might want to paint my bathroom. Don't care for the texture, tho.

The bad part about being sick is that it when it occurs on knit night, you can't go for fear of infecting your friends. But hey, at least I got to watch Mythbusters last night.

That's it! I'm now going back to bed. Goodnight!